Immediately following Wargames Brian Kendrick took the first flight back to his home in Venice, California. He had no interest in attending The Slammy Awards so he was relived of any and all fan related activities that his peers had to endure by the suits. No skin off his nose. But the higher ups also feared that he would do absolutely nothing to promote the huge event, let alone his own matches, so they made a decision. Jim Ross had been sent to his loft apartment for an interview. The man underneath of the black cowboy hat had some minor apprehensions about this seeing as how his subject seemed to be the bane of interviewers and announcers alike. Todd Grisham and Lilian Garcia already had undesirable encounters with him this month. But Ross was held in a certain regard. He was thought of as a legend. The voice of the EBWF. Perhaps this alone would keep Brian Kendrick from treating him as he had the others.
But Ross wasn't fooling himself. If he had no problems attacking Shawn Michaels, a household name and Kendrick's own trainer, he knew his safety wasn't secure. But he had a job to do and it wouldn't have been the first time a wrestler had threatened or hurt him. He lifted a fist and gave a few knocks to the door of the apartment. A few moments passed and the door slowly inched it's way open. A pair of eyes peered out at him.
| Tiffany | Hello..
Tiffany wore a grin and swung the door open. She was dressed down on this occasion, no strange outfits, garish make up or glitter. Or as much as possible for her as of late. A tight black tank top, leopard print pants and large black stomping boots was her idea of "dressing down". She beckoned for Ross to come in as she opened the door wide to allow him entry. Jim looked about the sparsely decorated loft that Brian Kendrick called home. A wide set of windows allowed the California sun to trickle into the dwelling. Not much in the way of furniture. A couch that looks to have seen better days as it was well worn and it was open to interpenetration as to what kind of things had happened on it. A reclining chair to the right of it that looked at least somewhat new in comparison to the couch. Near the windows was a small step that led to a tiny kitchen area where a laptop's glow could be seen emitting from a counter. The television in front of the couch was moderately sized, the entertainment system encasing a blu-ray player. Open cases were spread out on the floor and piled up in a disarranged pattern. Most notably for Ross was the coffee table. On top of it looked to be numerous bottles of empty and half empty pills. Rustling came from a corner of the room where the camera panned to find Brian Kendrick searching through a closet. He glanced over his shoulder and looked his visitor over.
| Brian Kendrick | Do you get any strange looks when you walk through California in a cow boy hat? Did I make you miss any college football games by coming all the way out here?
He waved for Jim to come closer after his strange attempt at small talk.
| Brian Kendrick | You really need to take a look at this. So do the people at home.
After some hesitation J.R. made a path across and peered over Kendrick's shoulder. What he saw was stunning. After unfortunate battles with Bells Palsy it was impossible for his face to show much emotion but his eyes clearly grew wide in amazement. Two nude female bodies hung inside, wrapped in cellophane with fresh blood caked on the transparent sheets. Their faces were gruesomely frozen forever in whatever horrible fate caused their deaths. After letting the visual sink in, Ross headed for the door.
| Brian Kendrick | They're fake! They're fake!
Kendrick took one of the life-like appendages and shook it about. It was obvious by the unnatural movements that they were made out of some kind of rubber.
| Brian Kendrick | I know some special effects people in Hollywood. I slide them some things and they scratch my back. Sit, sit. Relax. Those are just decorations. Make yourself comfy.
He stepped over to the reclining chair and gave it a few pats. Ross' thick Oklahoma drawl did not sound pleased.
| Jim Ross | I don't find that the least bit amusing.
| Brian Kendrick | You never do smile very much, do you?
Warfare's play-by-play man carefully inched down into the chair.
| Jim Ross | I guess that leads me to my very first question. Why do you find it necessary to do things like that?
| Brian Kendrick | ..Why not?
Kendrick legitimately seemed perplexed by the question as he flopped onto his couch. Tiffany soon joined him and sat closely with a hand resting on one of his legs.
| Jim Ross | You posses extraordinary talent. You truly could achieve even greater things if you had some focus. That is the way that many feel.
| Brian Kendrick | Look at me, Jim. I'm 5'8''. I'm not very big. A fact that people like John Cena tirelessly bring up. You know, when he's not making topical "Hanson" jokes. Bruce Lee was only 5'6'' and weighed 140 pounds but he could take out anyone alive today. But I don't know karate and I don't need focus. This is my way of staying ahead of the curve. It works. I just..do things. You can never really control anything and anyone who thinks otherwise is pathetic.
| Jim Ross | Following that train of thought, why have you decided not to take part in The Slammy Awards? Or for that matter any of the week's activities that are such a pleasure for our fans. You are nominated for numerous awards. Don't you feel honored to know that?
| Brian Kendrick | No. I don't. I've got more important things to do. Like..sleep. Or catch up on reruns of Glee. Or prepare myself for the mind numbing pressure of potentially performing three times in front of a gigantic, sold out crowd that wants to see me get killed. At the biggest event ever. Do you know what that feels like, Jim? Oh and that little thing hanging over my head. That title shot I'm being promised if I run the hamster wheel. It's funny in a way. I didn't want to go to The Slammy's because I didn't want to be a slave. If I would have sat in that crowd I literally would have jumped out of my skin. All those schedules to follow and places to be at certain times. But now I have to dance like a marionette to get what what is rightfully mine. ..Did I say funny? I meant really, really infuriating.
| Tiffany | And I had such a shot dress picked out too..
| Brian Kendrick | I'm so sorry, sugar plum..
Kendrick coo's at this blonde plaything and scratches his fingers underneath of her chin.
| Jim Ross | Let's talk about what led you to this predicament.
| Brian Kendrick | Lets.
| Jim Ross | After an impromptu match with Mick Foley, Nicole Ikeda announced that you have an opportunity at WrestleMania to become the number one contender for the World Title once again. But to do so you must take part in the Three Stages of Hell. Three different opponents, three different matches. If you are able win two of these matches you will face either John Cena or Edge at Aftermath.
| Brian Kendrick | Why do you think she stayed so far away? Why couldn't she have just called me into her office? It's not as if I would ever harm a hair on her precious, rich little head.
| Jim Ross | That is debatable statement.
| Brian Kendrick | And look, I'm not try to play that whole "I'm so strange and different that they don't want me to be champion" angle but something is definitely up. The things I have to do around here to get title shots are appalling. I mean, I know after what I've done to Cena and Edge that they are afraid of me. That's understandable. But apparently the office is too. They put so many odds in my way because they are praying and hoping that I either take myself out or I someone else does.
| Jim Ross | Some might find this to be an opportunity.
| Brian Kendrick | This is not an opportunity. This is a death sentence. I'm sure my opponents are going to be promised a nice fat bonus if they can keep me from main eventing again. But they can't keep me out forever.
| Jim Ross | Perhaps we should go over these opponents. First of all you have Johnny Curtis in a Street Fight.
| Brian Kendrick | Yes. Johnny Curtis. Johnny Curtis is..
He pauses suddenly in mid sentence. Kendrick leans over into Tiffany's ears and whispers into it, obviously asking for the identity of his first foe. Tiffany just gives a shrug and shakes her head as she's just as clueless.
| Brian Kendrick | Am I going to have to be the one to say it? I have no idea who Johnny Curtis is.
| Jim Ross | Johnny Curtis is--
| Tiffany | He's that guy with the theme music you hate!
| Brian Kendrick | Oh. OH. Someone please tell him that he has the worst god damn entrance theme I have ever heard!
Kendrick attempts to imitate the singers overly earnest and douchey singing voice by treating the audience to a few bars.
| Brian Kendrick | "We..are..wild..and..young.." Horrible! It sounds like something from a teen drama! I know the WWE forced him to use it but he comes here and he still has it? There is no excuse for that!
| Jim Ross | With that as--
| Brian Kendrick | Horrible.
| Jim Ross | Taste in theme music aside, Johnny Curtis is a talented young man looking to break out. He's certainly going to be looking to do that on a stage this grand. He is going to be looking for an upset here.
| Brian Kendrick | We all know that isn't going to happen. This rookie should just save himself the trouble. I know his folks are probably watching and he really wants to have this big moment but is it really worth it? Is it really worth what I can put him through? Fresh meat. That is all he is to me. Look, if he comes down to the ring, I will let him have a night with Tiffany.
He cups the blonde's chin with a couple of fingers and presses her lips like a fish. Tiffany, furrowing her brow, isn't exactly too keen on this idea.
| Brian Kendrick | It's the least I can do. He can come down the aisle, take her, and I'll take my victory. I move on and he doesn't have to embarrass himself.
Kendrick has Tiffany stand and instructs her to perform a little twirl. She complies.
| Brian Kendrick | Look at all of that. Looks like a fun night to me. She has this sort of animal lust and..and..
He grabs her by waist of her pants and roughly yanks the blonde back onto the couch. His arms find themselves securely wrapped around her.
| Brian Kendrick | ..and he can't have her. This is mine. He doesn't get this. Johnny Curtis is only going to get the most horrible beating of his life. I am an indestructible half-man, half-god. What has he done? Won NXT Season Whatever? Big deal. He's a nobody. And if his friend Road Dogg tries to get involved I'll smack him back to 1999. I swear to god if this kid wants to give me trouble I will end him and they will never be able to identify his body. Isn't that right?
Tiffany's wavey hair is given a rough tug and she responds by biting down on Kendrick's bottom lip so hard that it begins to bleed. Apparently, this turns both of them on and Kendrick is soon on top of her. Before they can get down to anything substantial, she points a finger to Jim Ross who is no doubt very uncomfortable at this point.
| Tiffany | I'm not into other people watching. ..Not old people anyway.
Jim Ross. Famed announcer. Beloved figure. Erection killer. Kendrick slowly climbed off of Tiffany and took his place back on the couch. Tiffany straightened her hair and quickly smoothed out her attire. Brian added one simple closing thought on the topic.
| Brian Kendrick | I will defeat Johnny Curtis.
| Jim Ross | And after your encounter with Johnny Curtis you will have to face--
| Brian Kendrick | Oh my god..
The subject of the interviewer tosses his head backwards and begins to rub away at the corners of his eyes.
| Brian Kendrick | Do you know what the worst part of all this is? Having to hear three guys cut "wrasslin'" promo's on me and talk about how much they are going to kick my ass. It's so tedious. It's so boring.
| Jim Ross | You may not find it so tedious when you're in a steel cage with Ted DiBiase Jr, a former World Champion.
| Brian Kendrick | I really don't know much about him. I know that I don't like his face and every time I've ever seen it I've wanted to smash it in with a tire iron. So I guess that's all the motivation I really need. I understand that he wanted a match pretty badly but maybe when he found out that the match was against me..
Kendrick stands from his position on the couch and lurches over to Ross, gripping the arms of the chair he's quickly leaning backwards in as the interviewee draws in just a tad closer.
| Brian Kendrick | ..he decided that he really didn't want to come back like this. Maybe he should go and beg Nikki for another match and she could find him someone with an empty dance card. Say, do you know his dad very well?
| Jim Ross | We're are familiar with one another.
| Brian Kendrick | Why do you think Ted doesn't want to be more like him? Hm? Do you think he has a few parental issues? I always liked those flashy suits. And the laugh. Who could forget the laugh? What exactly does Ted have going for him that makes him stand out.
| Jim Ross | Phenomenal wrestling ability?
| Brian Kendrick | Oh, who doesn't? That isn't really the kind of x-factor I'm looking for. Of course he's a good wrestler. We all already know that. Think, man! Wait. Wait. I've got it.
It's impossible for Ross to shift backwards any further than he has without completely falling backwards in his chair. Kendrick relieves Ross of his trademark hat and places it onto his own head. He runs a hand along his unshaven face as the brim of the hat casts a shadow over his features.
| Brian Kendrick | He has a really nice face. Just a good looking guy. It's a face that has seen some battles but not really any wars. It's not a face that was ever been held down and had a cigar burned into it, you know, just because.
A finger begins to make a circle around his cheek.
| Brian Kendrick | ..Right..around..here. The Million Dollar Man probably wasn't abusive. Physically anyway. Throwing money at your kids instead of any kind of attention or affection is probably pretty damaging as well. But between you and me? I would have took the money over the abuse. People who aren't mentally well can come up with some amazing ways to hurt you. But that is why Ted is missing that tiny little spark that he needs. He skipped out on the upbringing that I had. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. That little difference is the reason why I am how I am and he's just..Ted DiBiase. Karma is on my side. His Dad was neglectful but he's still rich and thought of as a legend. My Dad was abusive and he's locked up in a mental hospital. Plus he's bald.
Kendrick tosses the black stinson hat to Tiffany who promptly places it onto her head and strikes a few poses from her position on the couch, shaping her fingers like a six shooter.
| Brian Kendrick | So..ipso facto..my life story would make a good movie and Ted's would just be a topic on Oprah. I believe mine takes precedent in that regard. Well, I guess I can't completely say that. Ted's life is about to take a very interesting turn. He's going to get dismembered in front of millions of people inside of a giant cage without much provocation other than the fact that he decided to show up at the wrong time.
Holding up a finger he hastily remembers not to forget one more detail.
| Brian Kendrick | But I loved him in The Marine 2. He's such a better actor than John Cena. Phenomenal.
He begins to pace around the couch while J.R. silently sighs in relief. He is on edge due to Kendrick's not easily predicted behavior. He decides to take a minor risk.
| Jim Ross | Could I possibly have my hat back?
| Brian Kendrick | I think we can all agree that it looks better on her.
| Jim Ross | May I ask her a question?
| Brian Kendrick | What do you think I am? Her owner? She can speak freely.
| Jim Ross | Well then, Tiffany, why exactly have you decided to align yourself with Brian here? You seemed like a very level headed woman when I first saw you in the WWE.
| Tiffany | Because I tried to be what the WWE wanted and look where that got me. A divorce from that scum bag Drew McIntyre. He used me and I fell onto some hard times. But Brian came along and got me a job here. Now I can be myself and I know he would never do something like that to me.
| Jim Ross | You do realize that he was making advances towards Lilian Garcia just last week?
| Tiffany | He did what?
Tiffany's face suddenly contorts begins to look unhinged. Brian slips back over and covers her ears, running his hands through her hair.
| Brian Kendrick | Shh, shh, shh. You should know better than to listen to lies like that.
Kendrick gives J.R. a wrathful look of his own.
| Brian Kendrick | Mr. Ross, if you intend to spread vicious rumors and lies in my home I'm going to have to end this interview. Now, Tiffany, show him the trick you learned.
Tiffany sets up perfectly straight and spreads two fingers along her throat. She tilts her head upwards and suddenly sprays a mist of glitter into the air, in the same vein as The Great Muta and Tajiri.
| Brian Kendrick | It defies all forms of science.
| Jim Ross | I'm sure her Mama must be very proud. At the subject at hand, if you are unable to defeat Johnny Curtis or Ted DiBiase Jr--
| Brian Kendrick | I'm going to so who cares? Interview over.
| Jim Ross | You will have to face Mick Foley in a tables match. A man you have faced two previous times in as many weeks and an individual who certainly hasn't forgotten what you did to him at Warfare.
| Brian Kendrick | Mick Foley is...
Kendrick spins his wrist as he attempts to think of a proper way to describe the Hardcore Icon. Ultimately he just shrugs with indifference.
| Brian Kendrick | ...fat. Has he ever worked out in his entire life? He is absolutely disgusting to look at. It sickens me.
| Jim Ross | That is all you have to say about a man who is stylistically your most potentially dangerous opponent for the evening?
| Brian Kendrick | Picture Mick Foley naked. Do it and I promise you will never sleep again.
Tiffany closes her eyes tightly and shudders at the disturbing imagery.
| Brian Kendrick | Exactly. Why should I have any respect for that fat ass? Before our first match he described me as something along the lines of a "woe is me, wanna be, dark wrestler type". Has ever heard one of my promo's? Clearly he hasn't because that doesn't even come close to describing me. Have I ever wallowed in self-pity? Do you see a bunch of burning candles laying around here? Am I wearing any eyeliner? He is so out of touch that it's sad. And I thought after the beating I gave him he would have more sense than to ever show his face around here again. But obviously from the way the guy dresses he must be half retarded. Look, look at this..
Kendrick steps over to a book shelf and grabs a few pieces of literature into his arms. He drops them onto the coffee table and knocks a few of the bottles of pills onto the floor in the process.
| Brian Kendrick | This is every single book Mick Foley has ever written. I am literally the only person on the planet who owns a copy of Tietam Brown. I bought these with my own money and I read them cover to cover? Why? So I wouldn't end up like Mick Foley. Some washed up, beaten up, old man makes lazy descriptions of guys he can't be bothered to get knowledgeable about. And that is why I left Mick Foley unconscious in a ring with his head split wide open. Because he thought he was going to show up here and rest on his laurels and make a few bucks, getting by on his name. But I won't allow that. If he is in the ring with me every dollar he earns is going to go to hospital bills. Something he's used to, I'm sure, but I doubt he can take too many more beatings like the kind I can dish out. Look at this!
Kendrick snatches the trio of children's books Foley has penned. "Christmas Chaos", "Halloween Hijinx" and "Tales From Wrescal Lane".
| Brian Kendrick | I even read this complete and total garbage.
The books are violently tossed across the room and they create a loud crash when they hit a nearby wall.
| Brian Kendrick | Mick Foley is nothing. If his knee's weren't completely shattered I would tell him to drop onto them and start praying. Nobody wants to cross Mick Foley because he has a reputation. Everyone is scared of him. I've heard people tell me that "Mick Foley is angry. He's going to mess you up. He's going to kill you." I wish he would. I wish that piece of trash would try and take away what I've been fighting for. It's not going to happen. I'm sure with his "reputation" and his rap sheet that is a mile long and his list of victims that he will go out swinging.
Kendrick heads back towards Ross but this time he gets to his feet to avoid his earlier uncomfortable position. Regardless, he starts to inch for the door.
| Brian Kendrick | If you push me it gets ugly REAL fast. Mick Foley had no place getting a win over me. What I did to him at Warfare was a warning. And at WrestleMania he's not just going to get busted up. He's going to get burned really bad by a flame that he is flying WAY TO CLOSE TO.
Ross' hand is now firmly on the door knob behind him and his back is pressed against the door.
| Brian Kendrick | I run what people call "hardcore wrestling". I run this game now. Not Mick Foley. He can take his reputation and shove it up his ass. This town just ain't big enough for the both of us. Go back to Atlanta and let him know that. And when you're done you can go tell Edge or Cena that I'm coming after them next. What are you waiting for?!
Kendrick looks ready to lunge at Ross and scream "BOO!" before the announcer makes his exit from the apartment. He mentally kicks himself that he didn't ask for a free sample of his Chipotle Bar-B-Q Sauce but is happy just to have a camera crew out of his face.
