| Brian Kendrick | Hi. I'm former World Champion, Brian Kendrick.
He pulled his hair backwards and away from his face. He looked to be somewhat weary. Almost exhausted.
| Brian Kendrick | I'll be taking part in an Elimination Chamber match with four other slobs in an attempt to regain that aforementioned title.
It wasn't exactly known where he was but it was dark. The small candle he held was encased by a golden holder and it illuminated some of the surroundings. He scratched lightly at his face which had gone unshaven for days before turning to walk forward. Around him was dull, brown colored wood paneling. Each step he took made a creaking sound.
| Brian Kendrick | And to be honest I could go either way on getting it back. I already have a hard enough time getting through the airport as is. I don't need it to glorify my existence like the rest of them. The Miz probably cuddles close to it every night in the nude so I would have to set it on fire first. If I don't get it back my life will continue. However, I don't want anyone else to have it because that might bring them some sense of joy or jubilation. If I really hurt everyone in this match I'll be able to sleep soundly at night.
A thumping and rocking sound was heard. It grew progressively louder before stopping entirely.
| Brian Kendrick | Shh, shh, shh, honey bun. You're going to get your screen time. Don't you worry about that.
The candle was placed onto a small wooden table. It revealed Paul London and Tiffany standing nearby.
| Brian Kendrick | Here with me are Paul London and Tiffany. Say hello, gang.
| Paul London | Charmed.
| Tiffany | What's up, cat's and kittens?
A bit more light was revealed from the flashing, blinking sunglasses Tiffany wore which gave off a flickering red and blue glow. A muffled voice could be heard as well.
| Brian Kendrick | I think our special guest of honor is getting a little antsy. She really wants to be on camera.
Someone was tied to a chair between London and Tiffany. They were bound tightly to a chair, also wooden, by their wrists and ankles. The straps were tight as their was some discoloration along their limbs. A tight blue dress covered their body along with a single, black high heel shoe. The other was missing. Black, almost transparent stockings covered their legs which had a few sizable holes in them. Their identity was hidden behind a burlap sack which had a yellow smiley face crudely painted on it. Kendrick leaned closer to baby talk the unfortunate soul who began to rock about once again as they felt him draw closer.
| Brian Kendrick | Awwwww. Hewwo, Sweetie Pie. Do you want your face to be seen now? Drum roll, please..
Tiffany supplied the drums as she lightly slapped her palms against the table. London snapped one of his white gloves against his wrist before swiftly yanking the hood off. Underneath was a young, brunette. Her make up was dark and running it's way down her face. Duct tape was tightly pressed over her lips and her eyes beaded about in a panic.
| Brian Kendrick | Hm. Well, just who the hell are you? That's the question. This, lovely young woman, is one of the ladies The Trilogy brought down to the ring with them during their lame little victory party. I mean, it was so boring. No music. No blood. No dancing. My victory party was far, far, more exciting. Don't you agree, Paul?
| Paul London | Smashing.
| Brian Kendrick | I wonder what it was like hanging out with The Miz?
The Midnight Gang leaders hand came to a rest upon her shoulder.
| Brian Kendrick | Was it everything you wanted and more? Did he let you sleep with him? Or did you have to get through Ted and AJ first? Hm?
He began to chuckle.
| Brian Kendrick | I just really wonder why you wanted to get so close to such a GOD DAMN COWARD!
Kendrick shouted right into her unfortunate ear as she winced.
| Brian Kendrick | Do you know how he beat me? Hm? Do you? It wasn't because I slipped on the fake tan spray he douses his body with. Good guess, though. It was because he KICKED ME IN THE DICK!
Those same fingers resting on her shoulder gripped a little tighter.
| Brian Kendrick | What kind of uncreative, worthless person does that to another man? A nut shot? Really? Really? Really? Really? REALLY? REALLY? REALLY?! REALLY?!?!
He had begun to shout The Miz-ism in a fevered pitch which caused his hair to hang in front of his face.
| Brian Kendrick | Frog faced ugly loser. Can't even insult me correctly. Did he call me "gothic"? Do I look gothic to you? My ring jacket is white and so are my trunks. So not gothic. Tiffany looks like a damn lite-brite.
| Tiffany | Hey!
| Brian Kendrick | A sexy lite-brite. And Paul dresses better than Miz and all over his stupid little friends so I honestly don't get where all of this is coming from.
Paul tips the top hat he's wearing in admiration of the compliment. After reaching off camera he presents a sleek, rectangle shaped box of chocolates towards the hapless female.
| Paul London | Varda truffle?
The woman's eyes grow wider and her breathing picks up. She is unable to accept and wouldn't even if she could. London only shrugs and slides a treat into his mouth.
| Brian Kendrick | And, oh, look at me. Threatening a woman. Because according to Miz's little whore AJ Styles, that's all I can do. My, someone has a short memory. I can also threaten children. So I hate to be crass but shut up you sniveling little bitch before I decide to ruin your life again.
| Tiffany | Briiiaaaaaaan..
| Brian Kendrick | Yes dear?
| Tiffany | I've got something for you.
Tiffany proudly unrolls a poster she had designed and holds it towards the camera.
| Tiffany | An artist rendering of what Miz is going to look like when you're done with him.
| Paul London | They're going to need to carry him out in a helicopter with a police car an ambulance and a fire truck?
| Tiffany | Uh huh. Brian's going to stomp that jackass so bad.
| Brian Kendrick | That's funny. That's cute.
Kendrick swiped the poster from Tiffany's hands and tore it apart. He backed her into a corner and she removed her sunglasses, gulping with a far more serious expression.
| Brian Kendrick | Do you think this is a JOKE?!
| Tiffany | No. I don't.
| Brian Kendrick | What about you, Paul? Think this is all fun and games?
The crazed former champion shoved his friend and long time partner.
| Paul London | No.
| Brian Kendrick | How about you?
He leaned over the bound woman and began to toy with her long hair.
| Brian Kendrick | Oh. Wait. You really have no say in this do you? A kind word of advice. Hang out with a better class of men. Because when I'm done with The Miz he's not going to look like very much. He won't be able to eat at his fancy restaurants he loves so much because I'm going to painfully knock a few of his goofy looking teeth out. Ah. Idea.
Kendrick pulled out a pair of rusy pliers and snapped them closely to the woman's face.
| Brian Kendrick | I could yank a few of your pearly whites out right now. I could send them straight to The Miz. A sort.."Welcome to the Chamber!" greeting. It would be the polite thing to do. Or maybe you've learned your lesson. Maybe you've realized that guys like The Miz aren't the kind you should do showing your goods to. Maybe you like a guy like CM Punk better. He's in this match to you know. My good, old buddy Punk. He likes women. A lot. He's been with a couple hundred thousand. And you look kind of dirty right now so you're right up his alley. Maybe that would smooth things over between us. We used to be as thick as thieves but we haven't been seeing eye to eye lately. Oh. Another idea. Eye. Your eye.
A blow torch is tapped against his palm and the woman gives a muffled scream. When you're out of your mind you always keep various implements of torture laying around.
| Brian Kendrick | I could melt your eyeball right out and send it over to Punk. Special delivery! That might help him realize I just want us to be pal's again. ..Except I really don't. I want Punk to choke on his own blood and gasp for air. Our friendship is weird like that. I stab him, he tries to blow me up! We're weird like that. But wait. I can see it in your face. You don't want a guy like Punk. And, boy 'o boy, I can't really blame you. You're looking for the arty type. The guy that dreams up big thoughts and is so creative it would make your head spin. You want Jeff Hardy. What a catch. What a dream boat.
Brian snatches Tiffany's purse and pulls out her make up kit. And with Tiffany's look, she has quite a variety and an assortment of colors. He begins to paint "Save The Whales" on his captives cheek with a little smiley sun to accompany it.
| Brian Kendrick | I'm not Jeff Hardy so I can't really do anything to elaborate. But he's one of those new age retro hippie types so this should tickle his fancy. Oh, he would be all over you, kiddo. Maybe you two could huff paint together and write poetry or something. Wouldn't that be wonderful? But wait. Silly me. You won't get that chance. Because when Jeff Hardy has to face off against me he's going to have a nightmare worst that any LSD induced trip he's ever suffered. It's a shame really. I like Jeff. I want to compare dealers with him and maybe do a little angel dust and talk about our hopes and dreams. Maybe he could dye my hair a few thousand different colors.
Brian smirks up at Tiffany and London while smacking his forehead. The pair just smile at him in an uneasy fashion as he looks to have gone completely off of his rocker.
| Brian Kendrick | Guys. I am just a fountain of ideas tonight. I get it now. She doesn't want Miz, or Punk or Hardy. She wants a man with stability. A man with money. A man with class. I even hear the ladies love him for all his cash. She wants Ted Dibiase!
Grabbing some strands of her hair, he gently places with the locks before flicking out a pocket knife. More muffled screams are induced.
| Brian Kendrick | Ted probably likes a woman with devotion. Just strikes me as that type. So if I sent him a few chunks of your hair I guarantee he would click his heels together with joy. Which reminds me of the time..
Kendrick yanks her hair back and dangerously holds the blade close to her throat.
| Brian Kendrick | ..I held a knife to Teddy's throat. Just. Like. This. And I made him embarrass himself by uttering the words "I quit." You should have seen it. The fear in his eyes. The fact that he almost wet himself. I know I'll never forget it. Such a lovely evening for both of us, I'm sure. God, I really wanted to hack him up into little pieces and play around with his blood..
Brian tosses the knife aside and sheepishly grins.
| Brian Kendrick | ..Oops. That was supposed to be said in my head and not out loud. How embarrassing. Egg all over my face. But you don't seem to thrilled about Teddy either. Now, I'm not saying you're a gold digger..but maybe you would be a perfect match for Wade Barrett. Swell looking guy. A champion as well. Sexy accent. Cool a tattoo of a rose or something. He doesn't seem like he can figure out how to wear a jacket but not everyone is perfect! And right about now you can't choose to be so picky, mam. He could take you back to jolly old England and you guys could just get all randy. Doesn't sound like a swell time? Did you know that he used to be a bare knuckle brawler? It's true. The man is tough. And I bet he likes his women tough as well. And after tonight, by god, you might just be the toughest woman walking the planet.
He sprung to his feet and spread his arms outwards in front of the unlucky lady.
| Brian Kendrick | But I'm not going to hurt you. No, no, no. I'm not going to cut your face off or touch you inappropriately or make you watch a Glee marathon. You're my messenger. That's all. Go tell everyone you can find that when you screw over Brian Kendrick..bad things happen. Let everyone know that no one wants to see a boring ass, Trilogy vs Trilogy match at Wrestle Mania. Find AJ Styles and let him know that I'm going to seeing him very soon and I'm going to finish what I started a few months back. And be a lamb and don't scream, OK?
Tiffany removed the straps and binds from the woman and after getting the feeling back in her wrists and ankles she took off. Screaming. Not just loudly but complete and bloody murder. Kendrick sighed and sat down with his legs crossed, rubbing a finger into his ear.
| Brian Kendrick | They just don't like to listen. Paul. Get the chain saw.
| Paul London | Ah, y-you know, I have to sort of work myself to that sort of--
| Brian Kendrick | Paul.
Paul sighed and reluctantly lifted a chainsaw from the floor. With a frown he revved it up. But upon hearing the sound of the blades and the power it gave him, he smiled very maniacally and slowly began to walk off camera in pursuit. Tiffany huddled closely to Brian who blew the camera a small kiss before drifting off into thought.
