| Brian Kendrick | Gang, I've got the feeling this is going to be the best day ever.
Lamented the star of our story as he strolled his way inside of the theme park's grounds. He spread his arms outwards and slowly spun to take in the scenery that was surrounding him. On this occasion he was accompanied by Tyler Reks and Tiffany. Reks walked with a noticeable limp and had a few fresh bandages across his forehead after his fateful run in with John Cena a few weeks back. The dreadlocked, subhuman barbarian only glared at the festivities around him. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that he was not much for frivolity. Tiffany, on the other hand, wore a peppy grin. Her eccentric taste in clothing was growing all the more bizarre. A long, white fur coat, a gray Pixie's t-shirt, stockings and a pair of hot pants were only a few of her strange choices. And for reasons known only to herself, roller skates. And the glitter. Enough glitter to suffocate a buffalo. She practically left a trail of it everywhere she skated.
| Brian Kendrick | Isn't it just..magical that we've been allowed in after hours?
| Tiffany | Those are the perks when you're main eventing, yeah?
| Brian Kendrick | Yeah.
Again Kendrick stopped to take in the sights. A train ride circled about. A dragon themed roller coaster was high up above him. A strange, twirling Octopus attraction for the kiddies. Two different carousels and a long ride. And..
| Tiffany | They've got the TEA CUPS!
| Brian Kendrick | My god, they have the tea cups. We really have hit the big time. But let's try and focus here, hm? We're here for a reason.
The camera was beckoned to draw closer by Kendrick as he motioned a handful of digits towards himself.
| Brian Kendrick | You may be wondering why I'm in a place like this and not a dark alley, as I am want to do. Once again I am out to dispel misconceptions about myself. Not too long ago I threw the ideas that I'm anything like Shawn Michaels or Raven straight out the window. Or in Raven's case, straight through a car windshield. I've heard what people have to say about me. Namely people like John Cena. They seem to think I'm this ruthless monster. That I'm this dark lunatic that bathes every night in a tub full of blood and enjoys all manner of unmentionable activities. That could not be further from the truth. Ipso facto, since Cena has decided to step into my world and try on a new pair of skin, I've decided to do the same. I am going to become John Cena. And I'm going to do it better than him. So, why a theme park? Because everyone loves a good theme park and it seems that everyone just loves John Cena. I am in the very vocal minority that happens to think he's a complete cock that can't take a joke but I think that goes without saying. Tonight, I walk a mile in the Chain-Gang Commanders shoes. I've yet to figure out what the hell that means but I've brushed up on the man fairly well, otherwise. You might even say I've become a Doctor of Thuganomics.
Rather harshly, he snatches Tiffany by the wrists and pulls her closely to his chest. She seems to be enjoying roughness but at the same time is very hesitant. She of all people knows that Brian Kendrick is unpredictable and he could switch gears without even a moments notice.
| Brian Kendrick | What do we know about John Cena? Well, most people know he has a hot blond at his side.
He twirls a few fingers through Tiffany's long, wavy hair.
| Brian Kendrick | And we all know that I have an even hotter blond on my arm. Isn't that right, doll face?
She of questionable fashion taste purrs affectionately.
| Brian Kendrick | So the way I see it I'm already better at being John Cena than he is. He's got last years model and I..I have..
| Tiffany | The new hotness?
Tiffany was shoved against the nearby ticket taking booth in the same aggressive manner. Their lips met, vigorously and almost violently. Kendrick slid his hand underneath of the diva's shirt and graced his fingertips along her flat, toned stomach. His tongue ran it's way across her earlobe, causing the blond to quiver a bit. Their foreheads came to a rest on one each others and they began to speak in breathy, overly dramatic soap opera voices.
| Brian Kendrick | I could spend my whole life with you. Life with you would never be boring.
| Tiffany | I don't want sex. I want love.
Both had to stop themselves from bursting out into laughter. What a ridiculous notion that last statement was. After attacking each others faces once more, Kendrick shoved Tiffany away who stumbled but ended up skating out of the camera's view. There had certainly been no love here. Just a vulgar display of exhibition. After trying to brush off some of the glitter from his body, Kendrick's eyes bore straight into the camera's lens.
| Brian Kendrick | And while we're on the subject of blond's? There's something you should know, Cena. When we broke into your girlfriend's house? She cried out for you. She screamed for you. She screamed and screamed and screamed. How did that feel, by the way? To feel so helpless? To know that someone you love was in danger and there wasn't a single thing you could do about it? Shook you up pretty bad, didn't it? And most importantly..how does it feel to know that after I take you out there won't be anyone around to stop me from doing it again?
His head titled sharply to the side to further accentuate the question. The deranged look slowly faded from his face and was replaced by a smile.
| Brian Kendrick | But I'm getting off track, aren't I? We're not done with all of our little..Cena-Ism's. What is the next quality that makes John Cena so damn likable? What makes him a household name? It's razor sharp humor. Well, that might be a bit of an understatement. Cena likes to show funny pictures. We all like funny pictures, don't we? He likes to make comparisons that usually end up in HILARIOUS results. Just a laugh riot, real knee slappers. Allow me to try my hand at this. I've made a startling comparison of my own. I'm about to pull a Quackenbush and blow your mind. Tiffany, if you could be a lamb and fetch me my masterpiece..
Tiffany wheels back into the scene holding a poster sized image. She stretches it out so the camera can get a nice good look at it.
Kendrick doubles over and points at the picture, cackling and practically laughing his head off. Tiffany joins in and they begin to sound like the two old men from The Muppet Show that sit in the balcony and mock everything they're subjected to.
| Brian Kendrick | Oh ho ho ho ho!
| Tiffany | He he he he he!
| Brian Kendrick | That is brilliant! Practically twins! Both of them are soft and playful too. Wait, wait. There is a criteria here. Is this reference at least ten years old? C'mon, c'mon..
Kendrick crosses his fingers hopefully while Tiffany gives the picture another look over.
| Tiffany | Barney first aired in 1992 so..
| Brian Kendrick | YES! A successful Cena joke!
He throws his fists into the air as if he had just won the Super Bowl. Only an instant later his expression sours and his posture slumps, waving the overly purple image out of his sight.
| Brian Kendrick | Now take that thing somewhere and set it on fire.
After rolling the poster up and stuffing it underneath of her arm, Tiffany skates off.
| Brian Kendrick | The last piece of the puzzle that is John Cena has to be the most important. John Cena is a family man. He has a very tight knit bond with those who raised up and those he grew up with. A strong foundation that has allowed him to become the man he is today. You may not believe me but I've got an unbreakable union with my family as well. It's significantly smaller than the champ's but that doesn't make it any less important. Tyler?
Reks had reentered the shot as he wheeled along a man in a wheel chair. A bald, sickly looking gent that was withered to the point of near deformity. His eyes were glazed over and it wasn't difficult to tell that there were no lights on inside. Dressed in a medical gown, a blanket concealed most of his frail body. There was very little, if any, resemblance to his son other than the eyes that were nearly identical. Kendrick knelt downwards and threw an arm around the wheel chair.
| Brian Kendrick | This is Poppa Kendrick. How ya doing, Dad?
Not even the slightest response came.
| Brian Kendrick | Dad is..not well. He's a little lost. He's a schizophrenic and his mental health has deteriorated over the years. I don't think he knows he's not in the hospital right now.
A hand waved in front of his face doesn't garner even a blink.
| Brian Kendrick | He did some really, really awful things and ended up in the funny farm. Mom was smart enough to keep away from him after that. Once he was declared sane he couldn't really adjust to the normal world anymore. His living arrangement was assisted in some run down shack. He got sent off to the hospital last year but he's made it out to root on his boy! Isn't that right, father?
Kendrick nudges the weak old man in the ribs and nearly knocks him out of his chair.
| Brian Kendrick | Say, Dad, I want your opinion on something. Do you think I'm going to defeat John Cena? Do you think I'm going to be the next World Champion?
Taking the old man by the jaw and moves it up and down like a puppet. He produces a shrill voice from the corner of his mouth like a ventriloquist dummy.
| Brian Kendrick | "You can do it, son! I believe in ya! Show that Cena character what for!"
Kendrick stands again and rubs his palm across the old man's head.
| Brian Kendrick | Thanks Dad. You always know just what to say. I really do cherish these fleeting, precious moments we spend together. I know you will be watching. Tyler, please take Dad away. I think he's had enough excitement for one day.
Reks accommodates this request by palming the elderly man's face. He yanks him out of his wheel chair and carelessly pulls him along on his back. Only pained and small moans come from the challenger's father as his limbs remain limp, drug about like a corpse. Kendrick gives a little wave before turning back to the camera. His expression becomes contemplative.
| Brian Kendrick | All of this has made me realize something. I don't want to be anything like John Cena. I don't. But I find it amusing that John Cena is trying to tap into something so he can be like me. I remember when this all began. Cena wasn't taking me seriously as a threat. I was insulted. Even though I had defeated him before he was still going on about Hanson and killer snowmen. His routine remained firmly in tact. He must have convinced himself that he was going to walk through me like he had Orton and Wade or The Undertaker or The Miz. But then something funny happened. I faced Cena and I won again. A tables match. A victory is a victory but I found it all a little unsatisfying. Because in a tables match it's over in one quick burst.
He claps his hands a single time and pulls them apart to imitate a table being smashed apart.
| Brian Kendrick | You can't really savor all those little emotions. But as much as I surprised Cena that night, he surprised me as well. I really thought the guy was soft. I thought all the time in the spotlight had made him weak. I figured he had lost his edge and forgot what it was like to have to fight for something. I never thought he had it in him to jump me in a parking lot or corner Reks and basically try and murder the guy. Surprised but not really impressed. Look, look at this..
Kendrick rolled up the sleeve of his long sleeved shirt and turned his wrist towards the camera. The remains of a slowly fading gash still lingered.
| Brian Kendrick | This is where John cut me with a piece of glass from a car windshield. It was cute. Sort of like when you wrestle around with your family pet until it tries to snap at you. You back off and you begin to think that maybe you're pushing this creature a little too far and their feral instincts are kicking in. Unless you're me. Then you keep pushing. You keep pushing and pushing just to see how they will react. Just to see if they will bend and twist into something different. Something that isn't themselves. So I hunted down Torrie Wilson and I scared her a little. What exactly happened that night? Maybe Torrie can tell you if she isn't too traumatized. But that pushed John a little further. He did things to Tyler that he probably doesn't want to talk about either. But at that point I figured something out. I had already won!
Revealing this revelation caused him to laugh briefly.
| Brian Kendrick | I forced John Cena to become something entirely different. The super hero, the good guy, the role model had become a monster. He wasn't telling corny jokes anymore. He wasn't writing raps about me. He was showing a side that no one had ever seen from him, a side that only I have been able to bring out. But the real question is..does John Cena have any boundaries left? Because we all know I don't. Cena claims he has an edge over me because he has the control that I lack. Take for instance Warfare. I knew I wanted to lure Cena out into a trap. That's all I knew. I didn't really have a punchline! It wasn't until a few moments before I jumped him that I decided I wanted to have a barbecue. Look at me. Look at my face.
The camera's lens inches closer to Kendrick's face, namely his eyes.
| Brian Kendrick | When I covered John Cena in gasoline do you think I would have gone through with it? Do you really think I would have set another human being ablaze? OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE!
He screams and causes the camera to back away due to the sudden change in pitch.
| Brian Kendrick | And if given the opportunity I would try to do it again. Would Cena? With everything I've put him through, if the roles were reversed, would he have took me out?
Shaking his head, he sighs out in disappointment.
| Brian Kendrick | I don't think so and I think that's sad. I've done everything I can to corrupt this guy and I still believe he would pussy out. He had better find that part of him that would do it really quick or he is not going to make it. But I'm not worried, I'm not even sweating this.
A quick careless shrug.
| Brian Kendrick | Cena cannot beat me. I've proved I'm better than him on two separate occasions. He's threatened to put in me in hospital, he's had his chances to shut me up for good and he can't do it. I'm practically begging him! TAKE ME OUT! TAKE ME OUT OF MY MISERY!
His arms spread outwards and it's difficult to tell if he's still asking Cena or the heavens themselves.
| Brian Kendrick | ..But he can't and he won't. He really isn't anything special I've discovered that during our time together. So I want him to do something for me because I know he's listening and hanging off every word. What I want is for John Cena to give me the satisfaction of giving up. The last time I choked him out he let his stupid pride get in the way and simply passed out from the pain. No. That is not enough this time and I won't tolerate it. This time I want him to tap. I want him to tap and tell the world that I am his superior. I not only want this, I demand it. I want his fans and his loved one's watching all over the world to see it happen. And I can keep beating him over and over and over again until he decides to do things my way. If not he can have your career ended. If he really is that stubborn than I will end him and I will do it with a smile on my face. I am giving him an option and whether or not he decides to take it or not is his choice.
The smile he had mentioned makes an appearance.
| Brian Kendrick | But no matter what he decides to, the outcome is going to be the same. I am going to become the new World Champion. I'm sure everyone thought I was just going to be some transition to be tossed Cena's way before he has his big show down with Edge. That is not the case. The biggest mistake was to let me have a taste because I won't take anything less than complete dominance. I will be in the main event of the biggest Wrestlemania in this companies history and my face will be on every billboard from state to state. And I will get there by walking over the broken body of John Cena. I will have made a statement of a lifetime and this company, the entire wrestling industry, is going to bow down at my feet. A beautiful dystopia. History is going to be made and everyone get's to bare witness to the beginning of what I'm going to build.."
There was nothing left to be said. The war between Cena and Kendrick had escalated to it's breaking point. A new champion would be crowned or the current title holder would fend off his dangerous challenger. Change would be forced to come or things would remain as they are. No matter what the outcome, neither man was going to quite be the same once the night had ended.
